Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 11, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EDT

12:00 am
identification will take time. the latesten the morning. thank you for watching abc news. good night, america. and "jimmy kimmel" next. up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> let me also say happy wednesday. >> thanks. >> jimmy: how many more kardashian shows are we going to allow before we arrest ryan seacrest. >> first thing you do is you loosen up a little cletones.
12:01 am
12:02 am
>> dick:. >> jimmy: i am jimmy and with me is guillermo. at the end of the month, we're bringing our show "jimmy kimmel live" to brooklyn. and our friends at subway are helping us get there. we'll be live from october 29th through november 2nd. we have a lot of fun guests and surprises planned for the trip right, guillermo? >> guillermo: that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: why are you dressed like this? do you have a zumba class later? >> guillermo: no, jimmy. i'm going to run in the new york city marathon! it goes right past our show in brooklyn. >> jimmy: that sounds like a terrible idea guillermo. do you think you can do it? >> guillermo: yes. i've been working really hard. i even hired a trainer. here i'll show you. hi everyone, it's me guillermo!
12:03 am
i'm going to be running in the ing new york city marathon. and this is my trainer, jared from subway. >> with regular exercise and lots of visits to subway, i was able to get back into shape and ran the same race in 2010. to help fuel you through this i brought you inspiration. are you ready for this? >> guillermo: bring it on, baby! >> biceps. train hard, eat less! train hard, eat less! higher. work that ab. work that ab. come on, guillermo, feel that burn. feel that burn. got to go faster. the tuscan chicken melt. melted cheese. all kind of vegetables. come on. >> melted cheese? >> melted cheese. it's low fat. oh, yes, it tastes so good. >> 100. i'm waiting for my subway.
12:04 am
>> that's cheating. good job training. good luck in the marathon. i think you are going to do great. >> thank you, jared from subway. >> can you put some pants on or something. >> announcer: subway the official training restaurant of elite athletes everywhere and guillermo. "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with will arnett, chris elliott and music from dwight yoakam. [ cheers and applause ] [ male announcer ] instead of greasy fast food, try the surprisingly low fat new subway tuscan chicken melt. subway. eat fresh. new subway tuscan chicken melt. have youdéja, deja-vu?, deja, the headphone jack is going to be on the bottom. (explosion noise) welcome back! guess the galaxy s3 didn't work out. no, i love the gs3. it's awesome. i'm just saving a spot in line for someone. hey! hey! mom, dad! oh, thanks for holding our spot. you guys have fun. home by midnight you two. hahaha vo: the next big thing is already here.
12:05 am
the samsung galaxy s3. wait honey, this is the line for apps. i stand... yep!
12:06 am
>> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight will arnett. chris elliott, and music from dwight yoakam. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:07 am
>> jimmy: hi, everybody. hi there, i'm jimmy, i am the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. i know -- i don't want to alarm anyone. i need to start any one with a warning any one watching the show from the state of florida, for the last three years, a monkey has been making surprise appearances in the tampa bay area. authority have tried many times to catch him. they haven't been able to. they called it mystery monkey. the local new had a segment "monkey watch" and run this when there was a sight r. there have been no reports from monkey watch for more than a year that was until yesterday. >> the mystery monkey of tampa has been a celebrity for three years, seen all over the bay area has his own face book page and become a popular resident in south saint petersberg.
12:08 am
the monkey has bitten an elderly woman. jeff is the naeb eighbor of the woman attacked. and said elt wit was a matter o time. >> he has been back in the tree. and will shake the tree. >> the daughter of the victim said the monkey is not afraid of people so i don't go outside very often the i don't trust the monkey. end quote. >> from now on i would look all public statements to end, i don't trust the monkey. speaking of mystery monkeys, kris jenner, mate trthe matriar the kardashian family planning to host her own talk show, mrs. jenner is in talks with fix to host her own daytime show. how many more kardashian shows are we going to allow before we arrest ryan seacrest. have you heard the news, bruce jenner was either excited or thrilled or upset based on his face it was impossible to tell. if the deal goes through, fox
12:09 am
would reportedly give mrs. jenner a six-week test run of shows which is also the kardashian trial period for marriages. and if the test shows go well, kris jenner could be a talk show host. she and i would have the same job. which means i will have to leave this job and become a mom-anger i guess. >> lindsay lohan had a run-in with authorities. police were called to the home of her mother, after an argument, got physical. according to tmz, lindsay and her mom were at a club in new york until 4:00 a.m. they got a fight over money in the car ride home. imagine being at a nightclub with your mom until 4:00 a.m.? usually, the only way you leave a club at 4:00 with your mom is because your mom drove to the club at 3:30 to drag you out of it. but, not in the lohan family, the appletini doesn't fall far from the tree.
12:10 am
at some point during the scuffle someone called 911. police showed up, they shouldn't be allowed to call 911. they used that up. lohans should have to call 912. i feel bad for lindsay low haha. team to stop blaming her mother. we should blame her grand mother for the way her mother turned out. a crazy video. last weekend an extreme mountain biking event in the utah desert. annual thing where, insane people get as close to death as they possibly can. a rider, cam zinc went for an exceptionally long jump. see her from two angles that that did not go well. >> good news he had a camera on his helmet. and it's look we are riding right along with him. listen to this. >> oh, my god!
12:11 am
>> jimmy: not only didn't he die, all that happened he bruised his heels. but his legs are now only 4 inches long. he is adorable. >> fox ordered a pilot for a reality show, called "divorce hotel" put couples about to get divorced into a hotel for a weekend. at the end of the weeken the couple has an opportunity to get an instant divorce. what a great way to tell your kids you are breaking up. sweetie, mommy and daddy have something important to tell you. turn on fox tonight at 8:00 eastern, 7:00 central. >> abc ordered a questionable new show, celebrity competition show, similar in structure to "dancing with the but instead of dancing, celebrities will be diving into a pool. at first i was interested. but then i found out they're planning on putting water in the pool. each celebrity will work with a
12:12 am
diving coach to compete in diving challenges. in other word we will see chaz bono in a speedo. yes? no? [ applause ] a based on a dutch show, celebrity splash. this is a clip from celebrity splash. if this is indication what is in store for american version, you may want to set your dvr tonight. >> isn't that terrific? i don't know -- i hope we can get him. here is a weird new invention from japan where most weird inventions are born. a company neuralwear is selling cat ears for people. wear them on your head. supposedly they respond to your mood. the company says the ears can read your brain waves. they stand up when you concentrate, when you relax, the ears go down. when you see a potential mate
12:13 am
they get excited i guess. i am skeptical of stuff like this. but we bought a pair. we are going to test them out tonight the we really got a pair. where is guillermo. [ applause ] >> jimmy: didn't think you could look any cuter, but i was wrong. what we are going to do, we have the ears, we are going to put pictures of different things up on a tv monitor. one at a time. let's start with the first image. see how it looks. here we go. oh. i dent know it i don't know if that means you are interested or what. let's look at the next thing and see what kind of reaction he has. wow. are you hungry? you are hungry. okay. let's see what else, yeah? oh, cute little kitty cats.
12:14 am
you like kittens, guillermo? >> yeah. >> okay, let's see what else. oh, that's guillermo's son. look at that. kind of does work. not a remote control. all right. let's see what else we have here? ooh. the dreaded chupacabra, you don't believe in the chupacabra? >> no. >> no. >> i think we have one more, ricky martin. huh? huh? oh. he was always a big menudo fan. your ears have betrayed you. i guess it works, huh? or maybe not. who the hell knows.
12:15 am
here is a good story, from england, an elderly couple in the town of bedfordshire bought a plant at a swap meet, unknown to them it was a marijuana plant. took it home. planted it in their front yard. it grew into this -- a huge pot plant. as willie nelson would call it a tiny pot plant. police discovered the plant on monday. confiscated. they will not charge the couple with a crime. they didn't know it was pot. i'm not sure i believe that. just because people are old doesn't mean they don't know things. decided to test this on hollywood boulevard. rounded up senior citizens and asked them have you smoked pot. the way this is going to work, we'll see an older person. stop the video. together we will guess if they have partaken in the devil's herb, are you ready? okay. let's begin. >> i'm 88. >> have you've ever smoked pot? awe >> jimmy: what do we think? resounding yes.
12:16 am
>> no. i never smoked. >> yeah? >> cigarettes. never smoked. >> have you done any drugs? >> no. that's why i reached 88. >> jimmy: there you go. he does look good. who is next? >> jeanie hannah, 67. >> have you ever smoked pot president? audience:yes! >> jimmy: really? let's find out if judy has? >> yeah. >> how was it -- >> in the 60s. >> jimmy: all right. >> james barrett, just turned 70 yesterday, october 9. >> happy birthday. >> thank you. >> have you've ever smoked pot? >> jimmy: everyone says yes? all right. let's find out. >> i did a few times back in '64, '65, a few times. >> jimmy: well, he is carrying a pipe by the way.
12:17 am
[ applause ] >> have you ever smoked pot? >> jimmy: from cuba. i don't know if they have it over there. most people are saying no. a few yes's there, let's look. >> jimmy: pretty sure the translation is completely wrong. i don't think he said any of that stuff. let's go on to our next subject. >> i am 71 years young. >> have you ever smoked pot? audience:yes! >> jimmy: all right, everyone says yes. >> yeah, when i was 20 to 30. then i quit everything. >> has the the poodle on your chin ever smoked pot?
12:18 am
let's go to our next subject. >> my name is tom james, i am 77. >> and hatve you ever smoked po? >> jimmy: no? okay. >> no! am i supposed to? >> have you done any other drugs? >> does meth count? >> so you have done meth? >> yes. >> jimmy: that must be his rv blocking our alley. i believe we have one more. >> what is your name, how old are you? have you ever smoked pot? audience:no. >> jimmy: most of the audience saying no. a couple yes's. let's find out. >> no. no. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
12:19 am
>> jimmy: thank you, everyone. we have a good show for you tonight. chris elliott is here. we have music from dwight yoakam. and we'll be right back with will arnett. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] president obama: i'm barack obama and i approve... this message. anncr: bernie madoff. ken lay. dennis kozlowski. criminals. gluttons of greed. and the evil genius who towered over them?
12:20 am
one man has the guts to speak his name. romney: big bird. big bird. big bird. big bird: it's me. big bird! anncr: big. yellow. a menace to our economy. mitt romney knows it's not wall street you have to worry about. it's sesame street. romney: i'm going to stop the subsidy to pbs. anncr: mitt romney. taking on our enemies... no matter where they nest. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] house party. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] temptation. [ female announcer ] i just love that moscato.
12:21 am
go-to... [ male announcer ] girl's night in. [ female announcer ] never the wrong time, for the right wine. [ male announcer ] yellow tail. the go-to.
12:22 am
progresso. in what world do potatoes, bacon and cheese add up to 100 calories? your world. ♪ [ whispers ] real bacon.. creamy cheese... 100 calories... [ chef ] ma'am [ male announcer ] progresso. you gotta taste this soup. of green giant vegetables it's easy to eat like a giant... ♪ and feel like a green giant. ♪ ho ho ho ♪ green giant
12:23 am
>> wççñçñ
12:24 am
12:25 am
12:26 am
12:27 am
12:28 am
>> jimmy: tonight on the program a very, very funny man whose new book "the guy under the sheets: the unauthorized autobiography" comes out tomorrow. the great chris elliot is here. and then with music from this -- i got a lot of stuff on my desk -- this new album called "3 pears" dwight yoakam from the bud light stage. [ cheers and applause ] make sure to join us tomorrow night kevin james will join us, from the movie "the perks of being a wallflower" ezra miller will join us and music from bloc party. join us then. >> jimmy: our first guest is a five-time emmy-nominated actor who comes from a mythical land called canada. you can see him now opposite christina applegate in the very funny show "up all night" which airs thursdays at 8:30 on nbc,
12:29 am
please say hello to will arnett. [ cheers and applause ] a a awe. >> jimmy: how is it going? >> really statingy back there. >> jimmy: looks look your hair may. >> got the static stuff out. >> jimmy: missed part of the hair there. they said the was not organic. and anything that you spray on yourself that instantly declings you is not organic. >> jimmy: happy belated canadian thanksgiving by the way. >> first, may i also say, happy wednesday. >> jimmy: thanks. it's a good one isn't it? >> this is honestly.
12:30 am
i feel like i am in a time machine. >> jimmy: me too, it is weird. >> really weird. >> jimmy: static electricity. what is it like? like our thanksgiving? which we call real thanksgiving. >> right. we call it american thanksgiving. prescription >> jimmy: do you really? >> it is very canadian on a monday. let a's pick the day of the wee that is the least amount of fun. you can just start off your week bickering with your family. >> jimmy: do you get the day off on canadian thanksgiving? >> i guess so. yeah, technically you do. really just a meal. it's not like, like here, it's on thursday, people start screwing off from work monday afternoon. right? they just take the week. then the week after is kind of a wash people are still stuffed. and football and all that. in canada, none of that. just, no, no, no, just a
12:31 am
joyless, dry turkey. and, it is also, they want to really make that gap wide from thanksgiving to christmas. so you have nothing to look forward to. >> jimmy: right. yeah, that's right. it's early. >> here you have thanksgiving. that kicks off the holidays. so everybody is under the illusion that things are great. they're not. prescription do you look call your folks on canadian thanksgiving? >> you know it has been so long the i've don't call them on canadian thanksgiving. i don't need to. my mom keeps everybody really informed via e-mail. i have begged her for years to get me off the family e-mail chain. all of this, i will like reply all, what do i have to do do not be a part of this? every detail. >> jimmy: what sorts of things? >> my mom just everything. the day-to-day, doesn't use anybody's names, all their initials, e.j. is to the thing,
12:32 am
and, she sends texts too. some how she discovered texts. and she'll do, i'll get crazy texts from her the i keep saying you wake up earlier than i do, you live in toronto. i don't need my phone blowing up at 4:00 a.m. to alert me to the fact that you are having your second cup of coffee. congratulations. the one, she gets great texts that are, that really amuse me and my friend. she doesn't, she knows it now. but, i'll be like, we got a winner here. first of all, lead off all her e-mails, to everybody in the family with the, what i am question just the diminutive of darling, darls. every e-mail, darls, litany of boring things happening, right? the good wife is an excellent show. okay. but then i will get texts like out of the blue the i knew they were traveling, working, just
12:33 am
all of a sudden got this text that was just, simply, damascus, ten exclamation points. like she landed in syria which is a beautiful place to visit. take, take the family. go see the ruins, the old ones and the new ones. but she, she -- >> jimmy: that excited about damascus. >> damascus. oh, my god. i guess you are in damascus. >> jimmy: a rallying cry. >> like a rallying cry for a guy in the back of a nissan pickup with an ak-47 to a bunch of 14-year-olds, to damascus. oh, forgot to put my scarf around my face. oh. >> jimmy: we laugh now. >> damascus. >> jimmy: i want to bring something up here, because arrested development one of the
12:34 am
funniest shows ever. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a show that people loved. and you guys are -- are doing it again. you got the whole cast together which is remarkable just to start with. all of you on cover of "entertainment weekly" is this you or put your head on a ballroom dancer's body. >> that's me. no, i move like a gazelle. >> jimmy: was it good to see everyone again? >> what's funny after all this time, us being apart, so many years, you know who was great to see and work with? nobody. >> jimmy: is that right? >> none of them. i mean -- >> jimmy: jason bateman? >> the worst of them all. >> jimmy: he is. >> the sleep institute called, the cure for insomnia, the moment he starts talking, oh, my god. >> jimmy: the nicest guy ever? >> michael, i can say this it is
12:35 am
true he went from super nice to very nice. like overnight. seemingly. >> jimmy: that's a shame. >> no it has been great. it's been honestly truly so great getting back with everybody. it took us about -- took us about 30 second to just all be right back in the same place. and it, we are -- it is like kind of getting become together for the holidays with your family. everybody just assumes their role immediately. you know, jason and i are slapping each other in the face before we do takes. and, you know we are just -- ribbing on each other the way we always did. that part feels, we feel lucky to be back. >> jimmy: when are we going to got to see it? when will they be done? >> we're not airing them. it's kind of for us. >> jimmy: they're not going to air. that's fun, too. >> it is going to be so good, you guys, wish you could see it. it is so good. sorry. >> jimmy: you are shooting this -- >> like this one part. no.
12:36 am
>> jimmy: at the same time as "up all night" right? >> yes, shooting "up all night" my day job then moonlighting on "arrested development" on the weekend. next week i am off, let me just text you my schedule. >> put me on your mom's list, too, i would look to get on that. >> you are called darls. yeah, it really is like, just been kind of -- it's been balls out in case you want to bleep it. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> just been scrotum out for like the last -- for the last -- >> jimmy: ryan seacrest signoff? no, wait. >> yeah, but if he was smart, ryan just to mix it up. people would go what the -- did he just say? but, yeah and the show will air on netflix in the spring. they'll air at the same time. all streaming. via streaming.
12:37 am
no particular order, and you will be able to watch them all at the same time. >> jimmy: great. mate be better to watch them one at a time rather than simultaneously. >> i see what you mean. >> jimmy: you know what i am saying. and "up all night" a publicity photograph with christina applegate. well, normally i go for chicks, but wow, wee, look at you. >> a washer and a dryer. and it's all on a timer. >> jimmy: and a washboard. look at that. is that really or air brushed in? >> it's not air brushed. gyp i don't know. never knew this about you. i have not seen you nude. >> that's true. you haven't seen me nude yet. it's still early. whoo! [ cheers and applause ] >> you know what in my defense. prescription y >> jimmy: you want me to hold it
12:38 am
up again. zoom right into those right there. [ cheers and applause ] i mean you look like michael phelps there. not nearly as well. >> honestly the end of the photo shoot. we had all gotten wet. and i was -- [ cheers and applause ] i was, i was super wet. >> jimmy: scrotum out. >> scrotum out. scrotum out. christina was taking my towel away from me. had a ton of laughs. gyp i can see the fun you are having. that's not just tv fun. that is real ton. >> in my bjorn borgs, with my underwear. i said you are not going to use that? no, we are not going to use
12:39 am
that. >> jimmy: of course they're using that. >> yeah. prescripti >> jimmy: well should use it. throw something for the lady. you know what i am saying? >> sure. >> jimmy: on top of up all night and arrested development you will be on 30 rock too. that seems like too much to me? >> yeah, it does. >> jimmy: how are you going to do that? >> i don't know. i might take my own life. just put an end to all this hideousness. yeah, it is going to be kind of a crazy time. and "30 rock" in their last season. kind enough to ask me to come back and join them for one last hooray. such a fun gang. i have been the beneficiary for the last number years of having so, working for so many great writers, "arrest" and "up all night" and tina and ryan carlock. >> jimmy: favorite group?
12:40 am
>> arrested development. >> jimmy: arrested development for sure. >> i'm kidding. >> jimmy: we all have our favorites. you love them all ookable equal. >> i do. i do. i do. >> jimmy: the damage has been done. take off your clothes that's all you can do. and "up all night" on thursday. will arnett, everybody! we'll be right back with chris elliott. go out tonight - be social! then stay in tomorrow. make a date with your flat screen. olive garden's new dinner today, dinner tomorrow. two dinners for two nights, just $12.95. choose one of five entrees tonight, like new mezzaluna ravioli. served with unlimited soup or salad and breadsticks. then choose a second entrée to take home for tomorrow all for just $12.95. this has "movie night" written all over it. new dinner today, dinner tomorrow go before it's gone! go olive garden.
12:41 am
oh hey jim. this is my sister, lisa. [ jim ] mmmmm. so, hot. whoo! hot! oh, yes! dude, what is your problem? i'm sorry... mmmmm. mmmmm. that is hot! [ male announcer ] made with real cheese and premium cuts of meat. all wrapped in a crispy crust. [ ding! ] ♪ hot pockets! irresistibly hot. nestle. good food. good life.
12:42 am
12:43 am
12:44 am
12:45 am
12:46 am
12:47 am
12:48 am
and the competition to make the menu is crazy fierce! you can taste the tension in the room. how did you get in here? [ berman ] new southwest flavors now part of applebee's 2 for $20. see you tomorrow.
12:49 am
>> jimmy: our next guest is one of the funniest guys in all the world. he's an emmy-winning writer, an
12:50 am
actor and author, with a new book called "the guy under the sheets: the unauthorized autobiography," - it comes out tomorrow. please say hello to chris elliott! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. it is great to see you. welcome back. always a pleasure to have you here. >> thank you. can i start by saying congratulations to you on your engagement. >> jimmy: yes. >> so wonderful. she is so sweet. molly is such a sweet girl. >> jimmy: that's nice. >> you of course are going to have to change a few things. prescription wh >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> not going to be able to throw any of those wild daisy chain
12:51 am
chicken wing parties any more. unbelievable. didn't make me want to eat chicken wings. so you and molly are going to have a wonderful life. i'm bringing that up. >> jimmy: congratulations to you on this. let me see if i have this right. an expose of yourself? >> it is. this is a hard-hitting, well, an unauthorized autobiography. >> jimmy: you are the one that didn't authorize it. >> i wrote it. i was pretty hard on myself. no, i did not authorize or approve. i used unnamed sources. shouldn't have. just called people at random. >> jimmy: one thing i want to ask you about. i am wondering about if this book was fact checked? >> not by me, no. no, everything in it, i stand by everything that is in it absolutely. >> jimmy: for instance, i believe your first book "daddy's boy." your first book? >> yes. gyp >> jimmy: a great book. you and your dad, bob elliott.
12:52 am
alternating. the man. >> yeah, that's bob. >> jimmy: -- in this book it is this man, sam elliott. >> as i point out in the book, bob elliott is actually missy elliott's dad? >> is that right? >> a common mistake. >> jimmy: the physical resemblance leans more toward bob. >> you would thinking that, no, no. >> jimmy: you also claim that you worked with marlon brando. >> i met him. it tells my life story. growing up in the tough neighborhood of the posh upper eastside of manhattan. then, you know my various affairs like tried to hit on me. >> jimmy: surprised me.
12:53 am
>> carnival cruise line, made the ship sink just to get away from her. and i was lost at sea for a while. >> jimmy: how long were you at sea? >> for about three weeks without any water. >> jimmy: amazing. >> i lost my virginity to a durado, a type of fish. it was really very beautiful though. >> jimmy: you did -- >> at that point i washed up on brando's private island. >> jimmy: wow. wow. >> that's when i met him. he taught me a little thing, the banana dance. >> jimmy: yes, the banana dance. >> goes way back. >> jimmy: he taught you himself. >> we had a falling out the i sort of deflowered his bride. and then, we had our kind of odd thing happen. we were doing a two-man version of "streetcar named desire" and i was playing blanch. and there is -- there is --
12:54 am
there was a bedroom scene in that play. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> he was mad at me that night. >> jimmy: angry with you. that was it for you? >> that was it. >> jimmy: no regrets, right? >> no regrets. the book is. >> jimmy: would you be so kind as to read a little, passage. >> only if your audience wants me to [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i marked a couple of things. >> okay. i will do it. >> jimmy: very nice of you to do that. >> thank you very much. this is -- >> jimmy: thank you, chris. >> from chapter 3. >> jimmy: okay. >> being mr. universe brought my lifestyle beyond a young man's wildest dreams. in warm weather the body builders would pile into our old cars and head out to the countryside and do the gladiator thing. real fresh meat and drink wine and occupy ourselves with girls. >> jimmy: to me now, and it
12:55 am
seems, sound a little bit like, arnold schwarzenegger's autobiography. >> i don't know what you are talking about. maria made up her mind. i couldn't blame her. not only had i deceived her about the love child with mildred, the maid, but i also couldn't stop thinking abut this woman, her bulging, heavy thighs and droopy underwear. just the sooight of her man handling a vacuum around the house drove me wild. i had to have me. you have cleaned me for so long, now it's my turn to clean you. we were look two wild boars making sweet, sweet passionate love in a pasture. she could do this thing with peanut butter and a -- just like. prescripti
12:56 am
>> jimmy: seems like. does have a similar, the book jacket. >> big deal, all the. so what? >> backstage i was reading it. and to be honest with you i look it better than my book. i decided to read it out here. >> jimmy: it was good. what is going on with you televisionwise. >> something i am excited about doing. mentioned it tonight. getting ready. going to audition for this diving, celebrity diving show. >> jimmy: really? >> i've been working on it. and you know there is actually, a lot of prep work that you have to do for that. >> jimmy: really? >> presenting yourself just to the judges. a lot of prep work. >> jimmy: prep work? what do you mean? >> lots of movement. hard to describe tight you. i can show you a couple of things. >> jimmy: that would be great. that would be great. you are taking off your shoes? >> it's comply kated. there is a lot more than just
12:57 am
the diving. and you know, i, i guess i am like -- i don't know, couple month as way from the actual audition. >> jimmy: you haven't actually auditions for the -- you haven't auditioned for it yet? >> i'm getting ready. what i will do, just show you a couple of the moves. [ cheers and applause ] >> luckily i have got my bathing suit on. come on now. let's -- [ cheers and applause ] come on. >> we don't have a -- >> jimmy: a pool. >> it's not romper room, okay. let's try to take this a little
12:58 am
seriously. can you help me up here. i will show you. the first thing you do is you loosen up a little bit. i'll do that. >> jimmy: is that what you do? >> i didn't get you. >> jimmy: you have grown children? >> i'm a 52-year-old man. what they tell you to do is try to get on the good side of the judges. first thing you are supposed to do pick out somebody in the audience and wave at them. like you. hi, like that. and then what you do -- you get ready. there is a judge over here. and you go -- and then in the back.
12:59 am
>> can you spot me? i'm going to fall. spot me with your hands. thank you. >> you sit back. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's basically it. >> jimmy: that was terrific. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: and that's -- >> yeah. i seriously i don't know how to dive. barely know how to swim. tell you what i do know huh to do, at the end, when, afterward, i have noticed this. i know how to do it, the wet look when they put up the score at the end. need to be wet. anything you can make me wet with. >> your water. >> go ahead.
1:00 am
>> pour it on? >> sure. that's cold. that's cold. okay. >> jimmy: what do you do? >> where should i do this. >> jimmy: straight on. >> this is for the scores. . >> jimmy: wow, i don't see why they wouldn't -- chris elliott. and "the guy under the sheets" is available tomorrow. we will be right back with dwight yoakam.
1:01 am
1:02 am
1:03 am
>> jimmy: this is his new cd. it's called "three pears." here with the title track dwight yoakam. ♪ ♪ three pairs of glasses three pairs of shades three pairs of other things all there in spades ♪
1:04 am
♪ three pairs of shoeless feet three mindless thoughts three pairs of wishes for ♪ ♪ all that yowant and that means where you are is where you at and when your head is cold ♪ ♪ to put on a hat and if you can't recall just remember back to when three pairs ♪ ♪ of shades were three pairs of glasses three pairs of shades three pairs of ♪ ♪ other thing


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on